Before attending a swinger party a couple must learn some etiquette and basic rules first. This is a small guide for new swinger couples.

New swinger couple arriving!

Since you're the newbies you need to keep this in mind: swinging is for open-minded couples, it wont be viewed favorably if one partner leaves early and the other stays, the majority of time, if one goes, both go remember you and your mate are trying to become a swinger couple not two single swingers.

The swinger party won't last forever

Arrive early or alt least on time. Its not fashionable to turn up late to parties, as the night may have already got underway, and may it be people who have already began feel awkward walking in late, it may also be harder for others to fit in. If you're arriving late give the party host a ring and check with them, they may update him/her on how the night is going so he/she may walk straight into it. Be polite.  The swinging lifestyle is full of insecurities and uncertainties. You should behave as a real swinger couple. As the saying goes, treat people in the way you want to be treated, sensitively, thoughtfully, understandingly.

In swinger parties if you're not friendly you're out

Be friendly with every one, even when not wanting to take it further with them, there should be other things in common, or they may start introducing people. Many swingers don't swap or have intercourse with other couples but after going to two or more parties

As any person, swingers like gifts

Phone the party host and ask them if there’s any thing they need, always arrive with something for the hosts. Pack what ever may be needed, toothbrush, comb, perfume/aftershave, Condoms, robe etc. Always take a robe or negligee, it may be more comfortable as the evening progresses.

Health and hygiene

In a swinger party you should interact in many different ways with other swinger couples. The main thing that may turn the potential partners off may be bad breath or body odor. Have a shower before leaving for the party. Only do what is really fun. The whole idea is to enjoy one self, that’s why the lifestyle and its parties exist.

How and why to say no

The most basic and important in swinger party etiquette is the right to say no. A simple and polite No, thanks, is all that is required. There's no need to explain, as this may cause problems and hurt. Do not be afraid to say no, every one has the right, and if someone does end up doing things he/she doesn't want to it may cause more ill-felling and embarrassment.

Do not be pushy

If one fancies swinging with someone let them know in a nice, inviting way, if they say no, it is up to them. Do not ask them why, as this could be embarrassing and hurtful. If they decide not to swing with you, do not carry on and try to sweet talk them and flirt with them, as this may do a lot more harm than good.

Alcohol

Most people like a few drinks at a party, drinking socially is fine, it may provide a good social platform to get to know other swingers, it may also help anyone relax. Overindulging is not a good thing though, as it may hinder for physical and mental performance, and is a turn off for many people. If anyone need to drink heavily to participate in the party this isn't the lifestyle for his/her.

Practice safe sex

It is up to every swinger to protect his/her self and his/her partner. The use of condoms should not offend any one, it is not saying one is dirty, it is simple a means to protect all swingers involved. Anyone not willing to use a condom is selfish and irresponsible. How ever, saying that, if all participating people are happy not to, it may be down to discretion.

Do not take someone to a swinger party who is not fully informed.

This is an obvious one, don't take any one to a swinger party who doesn’t know what there going to, it is very embarrassment for every one, and probably may cause problems. Do not take a ticket to a swinger’s party A ticket is someone who goes with another person to the party just to get a third one in, but has no intention swinging, of course no one HAS to swing, but if one person swings, it is normally expected that the other one is willing to swing. The group room is for group swinging As the name suggests, the group room is for group swinging, if any wants privacy do not go to the group room, if one take a partner with him/her into the swinging room they may expect others to ask to join them, obviously still there's the right to refuse.

Do not disturb the swinging enjoyment of others

If in a bedroom or the group room, do not disturb the swinging of others with prolonged talk. This may be very mood-destroying and very annoying! If a party is BYO, only drink what you bring BYO, also known as BYOB (bring your own booze), only drink what you bring, unless under permission from others.

Enjoy yourself

Probably the most important one, approach every thing with an open mind and positive attitude, act out your fantasies, and enjoy your self.

Call/email to say thanks

Always call or write to say thanks, for one thing it may get anyone invited again, and it may let the hosts know that they provided a good party. If you follow this suggestion you'll always be well received in a swinger party.

The context of swinging, couples need not be married. They should at very least have a little history together and familiar with each others’ emotional needs. This is a very important rule when it comes to being comfortable approaching other couples who are in a swinger lifestyle.

The general rule of thumb is that swinging works best when couples view swinging as an enhancement to their existing sexual relationship, rather than to replace a fail one. If you are thinking of entering the swinger lifestyle good communication is critical.

There are many different kinds of swinging.  Remember whichever one you choose is good as long as your partner and you are clear about what you are doing and why.  Sex is a powerful part of human experience and the pleasures that may be found in swinging can generally be reached only when both partners are sensitive to each others' needs.  Each must put their partner's confidence and comfort first. From a more realistic point of view, there will always be another party, another personal ad, another dance, or another convention. 

There may not be another chance to save an exploration into swinging if one partner becomes overwhelmed with it and forgets to treat his or her primary partner with sensitivity and respect. It is important to remember swinging is only a primarily social activity.

The normal social customs of meeting people and initiating a conversation are really not that different than at any other type of social interaction. 

The process by which associates become close friends is not that different either. The key social behaviors that tend to be appreciated in the swinging community are responsibility, friendliness, flirtatiousness, open-mindedness, and most importantly stability with regard to one's primary relationship.

It might be worth thinking about whether there are any potential situations that you feel you would be more or less comfortable in and then discuss these with your partner. The pros and cons of whether or not you and your mate are compatible with the swinging lifestyle or even interested in it are many.  Whatever you do, be sure that both of you are committed to it before ever trying it out.

Swinging is not simply being open about your sexual feelings and being adventurous about it. You and your partner should follow some swinging principles to ensure that your encounter is also fun and fulfilling. The following are some suggested swinging principles that you and your partner may want to use:

Both mates in a swinger couple should never attempt to break up a marriage.